One of my goals with this pregnancy blog was to begin forging a connection with our son or daughter in utero, but admittedly, I haven't been having the easiest time with that. I reasoned in my mind that it's legitimate to not really feel any kind of connection at all until I finally feel baby moving around.
I was right!
On Wednesday morning, I had a pre-natal check-up. The night before, I'd endured a particularly intense WOD (baby brain - I can't even remember what it was, but I seem to recall box jumps, burpees, front squats and push presses) and while I kept this intensity low, taking many water and breathing breaks, I still had that worry that I'd hurt the baby somehow.
You know what? Sidebar. For clarity's sake: I've dropped all my weights by half, I can talk through all my workouts, and I'm not pushing myself as hard as I used to, so there is no danger to the baby. If anything feels uncomfortable at all, I stop immediately. I did Fran with 33lbs instead of 65 and jumping pullups instead of kips 14 weeks into my pregnancy - scaling sucks but it's for a reason! Hope this fends off the Crossfit-while-pregnant naysayers...
Anyways, the doctor pressed the sonogram wand on my belly, and the heartbeat came through immediately (always a relief when I have that little niggling worry that I'm going to hear/see nothing, a worry that I experienced briefly at my first ultrasound and at my first sonogram.) And it was loud, and strong, and filled me with such pride. I felt like, "yeah, my baby has a wicked strong heartbeat because his heart is working when my heart's working!" It was such an amazing sound to hear. Even more amazing was a sudden noise, accompanied by a jolt in my tummy. "The baby's moving," explained my doctor. A second later, it happened again, and I exclaimed, "I felt that... I felt that!" I was filled with a joy I hadn't experienced yet in my pregnancy, and for the rest of the day every time I felt that same little movement, a smile washed over my face.
So here I am, Little One (or Libby, as my mother has dubbed you - if you end up being a boy, I have a feeling that nickname won't stick around for lot - or maybe it will.) I feel you moving around inside of me. I love that your heartbeat is so strong. I love that you love dairy and mustard so much, but we could have a little talk about your need for carbs. I love that I feel your life; I feel this gift with which my husband and I have been so blessed. We're nearly halfway through your initial journey of growth, and we'll get to meet you in four and a half short months. I love how active you are already, and I love that when Daddy got home from hockey at 2:00 a.m. this morning and tried to cuddle me, when I pushed him off because I was too hot and uncomfortable, he countered, "but I want to hold our baby" and scooped his hands around my tummy.
We love you, Little One.
