My goal was to write weekly updates every Wednesday since you were born on a Wednesday morning. Life is so incredibly busy, though, that these updates get shuffled... and shuffled... and shuffled. It's Sunday morning now, and life has been a little bit nuts in the past few days. Southern Alberta is flooding. Entire towns have been evacuated, parts of Calgary and other towns have been evacuated... it's a major natural disaster. It's unbelievable to watch the footage of water flowing freely through the streets of downtown Calgary, and extremely saddening to see how some people are losing their entire homes because of the water. Fortunately, we're safe and sound in Brooks. Medicine Hat is another story - 10,000 residents have been evacuated and two of the three bridges that connect east and west Medicine Hat have been closed. We're just waiting to hear about the third bridge - the TransCanada. Where do you fit into all this? Firstly, I'm so grateful that our little family is safe and sound. Secondly, you don't really fit into this at all, but it's the first natural disaster of significance in your lifetime that's making headlines worldwide.
The past week and a half have been almost blissful - almost. Last Monday, you began smiling like crazy. When I lay you down on the couch for a diaper change (yes, we change you on the leather loveseat in the living room - much easier than hauling you up and down stairs to your change table), I just have to tickle your tummy and speak in a higher pitched voice and your entire face breaks into a huge, beautiful grin. I love watching you smile. Especially moments after a crying spell due to hunger or discomfort - which you have many of. Girl, I don't know what the deal is with your tummy, but it causes you issues. Mostly in the evenings. Any gas just makes you contort and twist and kick and scream and as SOON as a burp or a little poot (okay, so that's what I've been calling your farts lately, sue me) come out, you settle and relax immediately. You're so easy to comfort once your needs have been met. I'd go as far as saying that you're a pretty chill baby.
I've probably just jinxed it.
You went on your first major road trip this weekend. I had registered for a Crossfit competition in Regina, 500 kms away - approximately a five hour drive with stops. My love, you are so powerful that you turned that five hour drive into an eight hour drive. You were so hungry on the way back that we stopped about every forty minutes, pulled over to the side of the road, and I fed you right there in the car. I began wishing that you'd take a bottle, and I even tried a soother at one point because you were crying so much... but I knew you were hungry, so I fed you. I can't bring myself to let you use a soother. You took it for about three minutes and my heart broke a little bit because I knew you were just hungry. I took a picture of you with the soother - I think it looks really silly on your tiny little face. No judgment to parents who use soothers, but in the bottom of my heart it just didn't feel right. Pulling over to the side of the road every 40 minutes was annoying, but it didn't feel wrong.
So the Crossfit competition. You were born by C-section seven weeks ago, and I considered dropping out of the competition but I kept putting it off. I began working out about three weeks ago, and even ran in a 5 kilometer road race in Medicine Hat last Sunday - my time was a minute longer than the year before. Not too shabby for six and a half weeks post-partum. With permission from my doctor, who told me to "use pain as your guide", I got back into Crossfit the morning of my six week checkup. The first few workouts back were a little bit iffy, and I took it slow, but my scar never really hurt. My upper abdominals are very weak from being stretched out so far, but overall, I felt really, really good working out. So good, in fact, that I decided to wait until the workouts for the competition were posted before making a decision about whether I should compete or not. Once the workouts were posted on Monday, I was convinced I'd be able to participate. And I did! I finished all three workouts, and ended up placing 12 out of 28 competitors in the scaled division. I felt amazing the whole time, and I was even awarded with the "Spirit of Crossfit" award for participating so shortly after having a baby. I wasn't there to receive the award since we'd left to head back to Brooks, but I feel so honoured for being recognized and so blessed to have the ability to get back to physical activity so quickly.
The trip wasn't all fantastic, though. Natalie and I arrived at the Sunrise Motel in Regina at 10:00 pm, and I nursed you to sleep at 11. All was well until 2:30 am when you woke up for a meal... and decided to stay up until 6:30 fussing and crying. I rocked you, bicycled your little legs, walked around with you, sang to you, and got increasingly frustrated until 4:30 am when the tears began to flow - I woke up Natalie to take over for a little while because I needed my sleep. I've never felt so selfish in my life. I'm at the point with lack of sleep where if you're crying in the middle of the night, I get frustrated but I know I can nap the next day to make up for lost sleep. With the competition the next day, though, I felt extremely sorry for myself - and felt horrible for that feeling. So many crazy feelings as a mother! It made me realize how selfish I was being for sticking you in your carseat for so many hours so that I could compete. I know it's important to do things for myself, but I can now safely say that any road trip in a vehicle over three hours is out of the question - at least for now. For now, I will keep on doing things for myself, but I'll scale it down a bit. I don't regret going to Regina but I do feel terribly selfish for making that decision. I guess you have to learn somehow. 
You may not know this, little girl, but your mother is the happiest she's ever been. A lot of it has to do with making proper diet and exercise a priority, but just seeing your smiling face every morning is the cherry on top.
Love,
Mama
