Week 21: Christmas Magic

Hello little one! I feel guilty for missing the 20-week post... it was, afterall, the halfway mark of this pregnancy! I think with the busy-ness of school before Christmas break I just never made the time to sit down and write. That, and only two things have really been happening in the past two weeks: 1) you've been moving more and more, and 2) I've been growing more and more!

Your movements. They're amazing! And in the past three days, they've been very constant - I feel you move at least once and hour. Last night when I was lying in bed reading, you were flipping around contentedly (at least I hope so.) I'm reading a book about pre-natal bonding, and while it's written pretty badly, I think there are some good points in there about making time to spend with baby in utero. I think about you the most when I work out, and when I'm lying in bed. I haven't really spoken out loud to you although your father does and it's pretty cute!

My body. Wow, it's changing. I'm definitely chubbier. I feel good, though, and I have many moments during which I look in the mirror and admire my pregnant body. That's pretty good for someone who has spent the majority of her life negatively judging her body, even when it was in decent shape! It's just so amazing how there is a life growing inside of me now... my body is being put to work, doing what it's been created to do!

Cravings. Lately, the cravings haven't been too bad, but I'm still on a dark chocolate kick. My mom (your maternal grandmother) send two dark chocolate bars for Christmas, and a cheque with which I'm going to open an RESP for you when you're born.

Christmas with you in my womb was very special. Last weekend, your father and I went to Mass. I hadn't felt you kick very much last week, but you kicked up a storm once we sat down in the pews (your dad's favourite spot, right behind the organ... haha.) It was the fourth Sunday of Advent, and the gospel was about Elizabeth and Mary. Yeah, I teared up when Deacon Bob began going on about how Elizabeth felt her child "leap inside of her womb", especially since I hadn't felt a "leap" in a few days. And now you've been "leaping" for almost a week - I love, love, love it. I'm getting more and more excited to meet you.

I had a dream a few nights ago that you were a girl. It was one of those anxiety dreams, kind of like the dreams I had before our wedding in which I dreamt my seamstress cut my dress to my knees and dyed it purple. Like, worst-case-scenario kind of dreams. In my dream, I kept forgetting about you; I kept meaning to feed you but never getting around to it, and I even dropped you out of your infant carrier. I woke up pretty upset but it's interesting that my deep-seated anxieties find their way to the surface through dreams. I wonder if you really are a girl? Dad's Aunt Janice is adament that my sister-in-law and I aren't going to be having babies of the same gender... so we'll see once your cousin in born, I suppose, and then verify it on your zero-ith birthday :)

Love,

Mama