Week 34: Sugar High & Mama Low

Little One,

I'm tired. SO tired. And you? You're busy wiggling around what seems like every minute of every day. Aren't you getting tired in there? If my appetite is a fair gauge, then you're definitely growing. I am HUNGRY LIKE ANIMAL. And since you're growing, I'm growing - my tummy feels especially enormous today (but I think a lot of that has to do with Easter-candy induced inflammation. How'd you like that jelly bean sugar high?) We just spent Easter weekend with Daddy's side of the family in the beautiful Crowsnest Pass; it's so exciting that the next time we visit we'll be bringing you along not in utero! I wonder what you'll be like to travel with?

What's new this week? Oh, I'm ridiculously irritable - wait, that's not new; that's been pretty constant throughout this pregnancy. I haven't really discussed it up until this point, but it's becoming increasingly evident that pregnancy puts me in a perpetual state of STAY AWAY FROM ME. The sweetest, kindest people I know make me want to punch something. It doesn't make any sense, but there it is - I've never been so irritable in my life until this pregnancy. I'm hoping it passes once you're in the world. It's not like anything in particular causes the irritability - I can have a great night's sleep, exercise, good diet - and there are still 3 or 4 days out of the week during which I feel like the world's meanest, cruelest, most judgmental woman (inside my head, of course.) I try not to let it show but I think people see it written on my face. I'm not miserable, I'm just so darned IRRITABLE! I had a really good discussion with a co-worker who'd experienced the same thing, and it was hard to believe because she's one of the sweet, kind ones who would never say or do anything to hurt anybody. I felt relieved knowing that it's not just me and despite diet, exercise, proper sleep, lots of water, etc. this irritability is just something that's come out of the pregnancy! These "low" times are very difficult for me since I work hard at staying positive. I think this is beyond my ability to "try", though; I just need to accept that my mind and body are working this way at this time.

Physically, my back is starting to hurt a little bit - this time it's more of a dull throb just under my right ribs. It's kept me up a few nights this week. You're growing and shifting my organs around - ouch! Five (or more) weeks of this? Well, I did sign up for it! Knowing that I'm going to get to meet you much sooner than later makes it worth it. Maybe the chiropractor can help me with that this Wednesday, too - my last "big city" trip before you make your appearance. I have a few more things to take care of. Your bag is almost packed (everything's washed, folded, and piled, ready to go - I just need to stuff it in a bag); your nursery is almost complete (everything's painted; now it's time to tidy and fill those drawers) and I'm getting antsy. I wouldn't mind if you made your appearance a little bit early so you can do some of that happy wiggling on the outside!

Love,

Mama